hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
