no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
