he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
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