I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
