i jhust puked up my retainher.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Randomize