I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
