some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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