Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I pour the whiskey from now on
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize