Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
