I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
