I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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