Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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