from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
