12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Randomize
