your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
