I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
