He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
