Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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