I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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