they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
