physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
