Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
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