You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
