people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
