i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize