Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
