i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize