How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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