how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize