The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
