well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
