porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
