with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
