I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
