i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
