So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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