i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
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