Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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