Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
