Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
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