Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize