You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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