I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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