It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
