i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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