i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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