So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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