Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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