dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
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