i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
