i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
