hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
