There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
