I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize