Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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