It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
