Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
