I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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