I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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