i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
