You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
