i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I have tasted many bathrooms
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
