I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
This can only be settled by a dance off.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
