I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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