"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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